Skim, welcome.

Thank you.

You’ve gone through quite a transformation! Let’s start with your name.

Yeah. I used to be so fat that my friends called me Half and Half. My needles had a really awesome creamy white color, but it was because I had such a high fat content. The Christmas Cookies from the Christmas Cookie Factory taste like magic, you know? But I felt that I had something more to accomplish than eating Christmas Cookies. I wanted to be able to spread Christmas cheer throughout the world, but I couldn’t do that if I were huffing and puffing my way up stairs, through windows or down chimneys. No sir, you gotta be fit for that.

So now, friends call you Skim Milk. Tell us how you did it.

It wasn’t so easy. I had two problem areas: My trunk and my limbs. To work my trunk I had my buddies lay me down on the ground and then I’d try to get up using only the core set of muscles in my trunk. It ain’t easy for a fallen Christmas tree to get up. That got me real ripped in no time. My limbs were pretty weak, so I used different kinds of ornaments as resistance training. Started with glass and plastic, then wood, and then finally I was using crystal ornaments really regularly.

What will you do now that you weren’t able to do before?

Well now that I’m like literally half my old size, I can bring to families a lot more Christmas cheer, because I can fit in places I couldn’t before. There are so many small homes around the world, and not all of them can house a large Christmas tree. But the Slimmest Christmas Tree – that’s me now, woot woot! – can squeeze into corners, between pieces of furniture, behind doors. You name it, I can squeeze my Skimmy body right there. I made a joke, you catch that?

Yes Skimmy, I did. And with your height of seven feet, lustrous needles, and brilliant white lights, you’re proof that Christmas trees don’t need to be big to make an impact or be cheerful.

Totally. And now I’m so energetic and fit that I can do the things that Santa does, like visit every house in the world in one night. Whaddya say, Santa? If you’re watching this, I’m available Christmas night to give you a hand. Because I’m so fit and Skimmy.