Some might try to convince you that it comes naturally, but I work hard for this figure. Grueling workouts and almost every fad and not-so-fad diet has gotten me to where I am today. The great thing is that now that I’m slim as can be, I plan to keep it off.

I love that because of my super-skinny figure, I get to be classified with some of my favorite actresses of our age—Cameron Diaz, Calista Flockhart, and Lindsay Lohan. Unfortunately, I have yet to co-star with Tom Cruise, date Harrison Ford, or have US Weekly stalk my every move.

But, being this skinny has its major benefits even if I don’t yet have celebrity status, like I always have enough space everywhere I go. Too crowded on the subway? Not for me; I always find a spot to sit. No room to dance in the hottest club in town? Not me; I always have plenty of room to move around. I haven’t yet found a hallway, foyer, or doorway that I can’t fit into.

Before you jump to conclusions, be assured that I’m not all twigs and sticks, like some others. I have a good amount of needles that keep me looking healthy. Just the other day, someone commented on my beautiful color and luster. I can feel it now—Hollywood is going to come calling any day now. Bring it on paparazzi, I’m ready for you!

The Real Skinny on Me

To be honest, it is my figure that makes me so attractive. I wish it were my personality, but I'm a tree, and well...artificial trees aren't really known for personality. I've got all the lights you could want, a sturdy stand, strong branches, even a tree-topper plug if you want to put a lighted tree topper on me (I'd prefer a tiara).

Yet people love me for my shape. They love the definition of my beautiful tapered tips. They love to hang their ornaments off my branches, so that they are showcased in the natural pockets of space between my branch layers. And they love me for being slim (who doesn't love being slim?) The truth is, I'm not too skinny, so you won't be embarrassed to be seen with me or worried about making sure I eat a balanced diet. I'm just a little bit skinnier than average...and who wants to be average anyway!?!